The struggle with Forgiveness

   
    Forgiveness is something that comes up a lot in spiritual and religious communities. We are taught that we must forgive to move forward, to be 'enlightened', to get to Heaven, even to be a good person etc - so much programming and conditioning around it. How many times do we hear that we should just forgive and move on? What about truly evil acts such as the attack on school children in Pakistan recently?

  What if we just can't get there, at least not right away? Does that make us wrong or 'not spiritual enough'?  I don't think so.  I do think that it can be very healing to come to a place of forgiveness especially when there is responsibility taken and true sincerity involved... this can be wonderful, liberating and transformative for all involved.  But I also feel that it can do great harm to push forgiveness on someone who has just been through trauma.  Much support and healing is required before forgiveness can even begin to come into play. Some of us may never get there but that does not mean that we are 'wrong' or should be made to feel guilty or shamed. It does not mean that we aren't 'spiritual' or good people.

How do we define Forgiveness? Should we be seeking acceptance instead?

Michelle Carter has written a couple of wonderful articles about this that I feel are so important to share, especially for anyone who is struggling with this, which I feel that so many of us do at some point in our lives.  Please do read Michelle's posts linked below and share with anyone else that you feel may benefit from this discussion!

Am I a Bad Person If I Can't Forgive?

To Forgive or to Accept - What is the Difference?